I know it’s been awhile since I’ve reached out, but you’ve been busy and so have I. I’m still busy, actually, but I’ve been reading the news about you and Beyonce and it looks like you could use a friend right about now.
Well, I have some great news for you, Jay. I’m a pretty good bro!
With the $50,000 you owe me, I can be a really great bro. I don’t want you to see this as you paying for friendship; I’m a pretty good bro, gratis. But, the $50k would definitely free me up from other obligations to make the most out of my bro capabilities.
Oh, did you want some examples of my bro competency? I’m glad you hypothetically asked.
- On Monday I’m going to see Point Break in theaters with a bunch of bros. We’re gonna get some pizza and beer beforehand. If you act fast you can come along!
- I’m trying to plan a Bro Weekend with my college bros for August. We’re thinking of renting a lake house in Connecticut and just chilling out and grilling and stuff. We could also go to Mohegan if we wanted. Peak Bro, eh? You are also invited to this.
- I own a few tank tops (but I don’t feel comfortable wearing them)
Anyway, I hope you feel some solace in my bro quotient.
Please keep your head up, don’t read too much of the tabloids and, as always, you can easily PayPal me $50,000 above.